haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize