They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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