We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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