No, drunk sperm still make babies.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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