Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
