wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think people are normalizing furries
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
