hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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