she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
