Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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