i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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