I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
