I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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