Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
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