Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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