if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
