god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
