and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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