Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize