I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
