Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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