just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
