Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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