She said her name was "party"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
