I need help removing her.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
