YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
