You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
