he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Dignity is for republicans.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
