remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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