Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize