Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
