After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
