Christians are straight up FREAKS
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
