What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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