Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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