Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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