When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just invented taco cereal.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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