? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Houston, we have a blender
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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