Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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