Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
