I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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