Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
