Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
