are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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