dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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