i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
