There was a lot of him and a little penis
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
