I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
