that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
