So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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