loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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