So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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