Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
