found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
