Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize