Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I intend to get homeless drunk
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
