oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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