Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize