I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize