I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize